Wednesday, December 17, 2008

One of the best IT interviews

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself. 
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication 
engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had 
never heard of this college before! 
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an 
admission into it .. 
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. 
But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not 
invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I 
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this 
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be 
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete 
your engineering. 
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But 
you know, these cricket matches and football 
world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. 
So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 
4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6. 
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I 
will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, 
thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think 
they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be 
banned. 
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life? 
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never 
thought I would complete it. In fact, when i 
flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus 
corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study? 
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' 
education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms 
have you worked? 
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my 
current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have 
experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used? 
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet 
in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB? 
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a 
higher version than VB. I heard very soon they 
are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language? 
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the 
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience? 
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e 
times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job? 
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. 
Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining 
BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience? 
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know 
Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to 
dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And 
very important - I know few words like - 
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 
'SEI-CMM','quality' ,'versioncontrol ','deadlines' , 'Customer 
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company? 
Candidate: Not much. 
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand. 
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not 
        have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent. 
3. I believe in flexi-timings. 
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear 
        t-shirt and jeans. 
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so 
        as to avoid breakdown due to overwork. 
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term 
        preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer 
US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in 
China in the current year, I don't mind 
going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't 
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our 
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to ********

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of ********

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